Tips for the holidays and infertility
Hormone surges, daily injections and failed cycles will make you feel like a Grinch any time of the year. However, add relatives and high expectations and you have a recipe for rotten eggnog. It may be your first time experiencing the holidays and infertility. If you’re not sure how to endure the holidays, Texas Fertility Center offers you 10 Ways to Survive the Holidays.
The first five tips to survive the holidays and infertility
Do something good for others. When you focus on neighbors in need, it actually triggers instincts that improve your mood and sense of well-being. Known as “helper’s high”, it’s cheaper than therapy.
Make your own traditions. Skip the large family dinners where kids are both the center of attention and conversation. Maybe this is the year you eat at a hip new restaurant and join the family for coffee and dessert.
Don’t sit out the holidays. You may not want to accept every invite or watch Frosty cradling adorable little Karen in the poinsettia greenhouse, but embrace what makes you happy. Send holiday cards featuring your dog. Invite childless couples over for a gift-wrap party. “You’re as entitled as anyone else to have a tree in your home, even if there are only two presents under it,” says Barbara Eck Menning, RESOLVE’s founder.
Avoid the mall. Hello! Santa lives at the mall. And where there is Santa, you’ll encounter throngs of adorable kids who’ll make you feel like Ebenezer Scrooge. Shop online instead.
Take control. Do you want to continue treatment during the holidays or take a break? When it’s your decision, it restores some balance in what can seem like a one sided doctor-patient relationship.
Five more tips
Join the jet set. Go skiing, find a couples-only beach resort or a nearby bed & breakfast to revel in your couple-ness. No guilt, either. If mom hassles you, tell her it’s not selfish, but self preservation.
Research your religious service when coping with the holidays and infertility. Look online or call to find out when the family service falls. Avoid it. Try the midnight gathering, or attend a church or synagogue affiliated with the university with a college-age congregation.
Forget ‘hafta.’ You don’t have to accept every invitation. There’s no rule that you stay long at every party you attend. You absolutely can show up for brunch after the kids open presents. Set boundaries. Protect and nurture yourself (it’s good “mothering” practice).
Cry. This stinks. The holidays won’t magically fix infertility and it’s not fair that you have to face another season without a child. Let yourself grieve.
Make resolutions. Write down your goals for 2011 and tuck them away until after the holidays. Don’t forget what follows Christmas. With its midnight crescendo, champagne toasts and formal attire, New Year’s Eve is decidedly NOT a children’s holiday. Contact us to learn more about coping with the holidays and infertility.